"Potrayal of scenes from ordinary life..."

Visual Insanity

2007-02-15T14:53:00.000-08:00

Me as myself is 'deteriorating' fast..I need my friends...I just need to have ME back. I need that booster to continue...I need to be surrounded by intellectual, optimistic, jovial, happy go lucky, a whole bunch of happy hip and trendy people..in another words...my FRIENDS!!!!

I'm losing my grip..I'm losing my identity and its going off fast.

All I can say is that 'the aura is not good' and even worse when u have morons as your opposite neighbours. And that people..are the ROOT of my problems.

Think about this, isn't it 'bad energy' when you are confine to these walls, no one to chat with and the only activity that so called 'lightens you up' is to see the neighbour making a fool of themselves by copying us. You know, when you are in one with the surrounding, u tends to notice every single details of everything that's happening and trust me, it will upset you more. The visual is so damn sick that at times it feels so confrontational.

That's the ultimate reason I need to have my buddies back, so that I won't succumb to all these bull shits...so that I have my life back..so that I will lead a happy life not bothered by these morons who will go to all lengths to scan the latest from me and my family.

I need to not be bothered by these idiotic people. Its already suffocating me.

I have enough of all these negative energy that I need to release. Anger, boredom, irritating moods, fed-up and all the extras.

I need to keep my sanity.

I need to be with those people who have their own individuality and style, highly intellectual and uppermost beautiful in their own ways. I miss my friends. I really do. I wanna be able to chit chat, have fun and laugh our hearts out.

I need them so as not to be a miserable, moody cow.

God Please help me get out of this insanity!!

Me hate Copy Cats..!!!!

2007-01-26T15:18:00.000-08:00

Copycats sucks!!!

Really...the most irritating thing that a person can do to me is to copy everything that I do...from what shoes I wear, how i do my hairstyle, how I dress, my home decor...what's the latest wall paint, my curtains, what I have in my house...infact every single details are being copied...they just have to peep thru that small hole and inspect every details of...ME!! and the best part is..they'd pretend that its just a mere coincidence that they and us look alike...like duhhh....!!!

Maybe some people might take it as a compliment that someone else 'looks' up to you but hey...its suffocating...ME!!

I don't even know you...We don't even talk..infact the first time I met you, we are of a different world..the way you dress, your hairstyle, your house, and slowly, the changes took place... if I choose you to be my friend, I'd be glad to give some pointers but hey...you follow my sytle but you act as if you own the world...what's all these about??? You want to be ME???

Excuse me Miss, Im no Angelina Jolie or Victoria Beckham..go copy the look of someone else...Anyways...whatever...cos' all I know if you don't have it, no matter how you try, you just can't!! heh!

what on earth are they thinking...???

2006-02-04T23:51:00.000-08:00

people are all the same..we only get judged by what we do..
nobody is better than anyone else.

.criticising someone makes someone else criticise you..
do good while u still can..have mercy to those who lose their faith..pray that
they will find their way..

who are we to judge another person when we ourselves are not the perfect being..
people might say we are stupid, so are they..
they might say we are uncivilised, so are they..
they might say we are a bunch of morons,because of our faith, so are they..

no point expressing anger when anger itself kills the innocent..
no point expressing hatred, when hatred itself kills the innocent..
no point pointing fingers when the fingers are pointing back at you..
no point ridicule others when it only shows your immaturity..
no point creating misery,when you know that God will answer to prayers..

Live by your means..follow your faith..moderation is the answers to all..
to the extreme depletes mankind

what goes around comes around

2005-10-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

you know when your conscience are not clear, you know that you have been denying and lying your way thru', you know that whatever these people say or mentioned about you are nothing but truth but because you are so 'up there' that you wouldn't even stoop an inch to admit that these are your mistakes. You held your head so high up pretending nothing hurts, no words can destroy you and ultimately you want people to realize that its not you that causing the tension, its these people who wants to nail you down..Boy oh boy..how so wrong were you..who in the end got to admit that things are far too much to handle??who in the end got to admit that she is not competent in the task??who in the end get everything tangled up and can't find the way back??who in the end felt that the stress were so much to handle that she got to breakdown a couple of times admitting her incapabilities??who in the end got so worked up proving her innocence and now simply drowningher own medicine??If only you would admit the first time the confrontations were made...if only you would admit the things you'd do...things would be much easier..Woman...everyone make mistake...you just have to be brave to admit it..denials and lying your way thru' won't get you anywhere and worst swearing by the God's name upon something you said that you didn't do when infact you did comes with its consequences..like what you are experimenting right now...Have told you before...we will wait to see who will have the last laugh..Not that I'm thrilled you are in that condition..but glad karma showed up earlier than expected...

Fuck off...BITCH!!!

2005-09-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

you know when you just feel disgusted, agitated, frustated, dissappointed and you feel like you need to burst...you so wanted to yell at her to fuck off...sight of her deplete all energy...

never in my entire life hv i met with someone so stupid and so thick-skinned...words spoken, action shown and still u mean u didnt get the message...

WE DON'T LIKE YOU!!! HATE YOU SO MUCH!!!

You are the ONLY person that I know that is able to lie, lie, lie and deny, deny, deny all the way thru and thru and still got the cheek to come up the very next day as if nothing happens...

'a round of applause' for a world class actress..

whatever...if you are happy like that, we are fine with it...you may be a world class actress but don't you forget that we are the 'award winners' thru and thru..

play your game and i'll play mine...

we'll see who will last..just remember you lie your way thru and soon that lies gonna get you...

will see who will have the last laugh...

Love that...

2005-08-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

been having a good week actually..apart from the incident that happen yesterday...me totally sick of that bloody bitch...gonna show her faces that she thought I would never be capable of doing...gonna show her attitude that she never thought will come from me...some people just have the talent to 'float around' and im bloody sick of that attitude...one fine day, gonna tell her to back off cos' she's not wanted anymore and I'll be extremely happy to show her the door..

meanwhile, life's beautiful at this point of time...been enjoying my days spending with the boys...been blessed with a beautiful home and a beautiful family...all the boys are perfect..let the fireworks go on and on and on forever.....

I miss you!!!

2005-08-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

me miss my other half badly...its less than 24hrs and im already so miserable..and i got to be on my own for the next few days :(

went to see my unc this morning...in terrible state...if i have lots of $$$, i'd get someone to look after him...ensure that he is well taken care of...got news that my other unc is in the intensive care unit..heart problem..my oh my..no wonder im not my usual self..how on earth am i supposed to be happy and cheery if others are suffering..

Life goes on though...

why...o...why??

2005-07-31T22:10:00.000-07:00

been pretty alright for the past few days and then...wham!bam!...that creature steps in and im back feeling irritated, agitated and all the negative vibes began filling up my entire body..its just that feeling you can't brush away..no brainer is back and again without fail, showing that the brain is not in used...some people just got the talent!

Other half showed me an interesting article..'maid affair'...doesn't come as a surprise...knew that 'this things' happen..what can we say...everybody is an opportunist..we see things that we can take an advantage of..why not?? especially when a person comes from a poor country, see a light at the end of the tunnel which is easily accessible...why not?? male hormones raging, wife not around, maid in the house alone..what the heck...why not??

EVERYBODY is an opportunist brought together into a unique circumstance so as to come out from it a lesson to be learned...

real test in life is when difficulties sets in

2005-07-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

imagine that you are in his shoes:

stroke, paralysed, wheelchair bound, not able to talk and say things that you want,

can't express what your needs, you require your other half to bathe, feed and dress you..

you are in a world where you feel that death would be a better solution..but you are still alive, breathing and helpless...

would you do those nasty horrid things you did to him??

it stressed you out to have to deal with this..this is not what you wanted..

well, put it this way, God bring this to you for a reason...!

dark clouds

2005-07-27T05:42:00.000-07:00

woke up cos' i had a weird..weird dream..wouldn't want that to happen..either i brush it off or take it as a cautionary guidelines of what's coming thru'..my sixth sense must be telling me something i didn't know..feel like confronting people but no energy...been feeling 'under the clouds' for more than a week now..not my norm..me always a cheery soul... optimistic, bursting with energy and suddenly every single positive note in my body been sapped out...what happen?? still finding the answer...

i know i got a few horrible 'F...ing a..h.l.s' that i just wish i could 'erase' off.. when will the sun shine in me again?..me feeling sad and bored and tired and all rolled into one...

but then again...its the start of the day..got to get rid of that negativity..oh my...not today cos' i'll definitely bump into that 'f' bitch..there goes my day in the clouds again...

If Only....

2005-07-26T21:35:00.000-07:00

H..i so much wanted to say it right smack on your face to 'F' OFF..you NO BRAINER!

i can't 'act' that i'm with you anymore..

it drained the energy in me to put on a 'show' each and every time you are around and it goes to a point that i wish i don't have to hear you, see you, face you, talk to you, have lunch or dinner with you...absolutely nothing associated with you!!

Me Getting 'F' Tired of You!!

If only you get to know the truth...!

what if...why not...

2005-07-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

*sigh*...woke up this morning..feeling bored and tired to the bone..thoughts filled with 'why' and 'what if'...suddenly do not know what's my purpose in life...why do we have so much to worry about?? why are we constantly put to the test??

Sad...in not knowing if there is tomorrow...Scared..in not knowing what the days hold..Suffocated...with all the needs in life...Tired...in trying to meet these needs...Life goes on though...Just got to be tough, strong and wise....